5 Things I did in 2024 that Changed My Life for the Better
I know it's a bit late for reflections of last year. Usually I sit down to write this as my own kind of ritual of endings and new beginnings, but yeah, what can I say, I got distracted. Still, even though it's almost three weeks into 2025, I feel there are some things worth sharing as the goodies of '24 are continuing to weave their magic in my life and they might be inspiring for some of you, too. Hope 2025 has warmly embraced you so far!
1. I stopped listening to podcasts
Huh? How is that a good thing you may ask? Well, it's not that I stopped being interested in learning new things and making myself available to new perspectives. It's simply that I stopped cramming in every available space I had with consuming more information (and other people's opinions). The years before I had somehow gotten addicted to listening to podcasts as it's so easy to do it while cooking, or driving or cleaning. After our trip to Asia in the beginning of last year, when we were so engrossed in enjoying being outside and in a new environment, that need, to always consume, simply slipped away.
Back home again, I noticed my sleep had improved, I felt less overwhelmed and less prone to anxiety. I didn't realise but I hadn't been giving myself enough time to digest all the information I was ingesting! I had forgotten to cherish the silent spaces of nothingness, the sacred in between moments, where we have time to integrate our days and all that we have experienced. So I made it a point not to multitask but focus on one action alone. When I'm cooking, I'm doing only that, for example, practicing mindfulness and connecting deeper to the art of nourishment. And of course sometimes I still listen to something interesting while driving, especially if it's a long drive, but I'm much more aware of how much space I have inside to actually fully take in (and digest!) what I am listening to.
In short, I learned to honour my nervous system and my capacity for not only taking in information but also digesting it!
2. I experienced 7 Days in total Darkness
A Dark Room Retreat had been something that I had been wanting to do for a long time. I guess for many people (like my mum :) the idea of going 7 days into total darkness sounds just crazy. Why would anyone want to do that? There are many reasons why people go into darkness, ranging from trying to improve their health to deepening their spiritual practice. For me it was a need for resetting. I had been feeling this low sense of overwhelm in the background for some time and like my brain wasn't working as well as it should (which I hear many of my friends and clients experience as well).
Many things happened in the Dark Room that is too much to share here, but what I do want to share is the weeks after the darkness. It was like a detox for the senses. Have you ever done a physical cleanse? Do you remember how good and energised and alive you feel after? Yes, that's how it felt coming out of darkness. I felt cured from most of my addictions: no need for coffee, for instagram, or even having to (compulsively) check my phone and text friends.
I was empty in the best sense of the word. Simply present. Light. Clear. Happy. Satisfied.
What I’ve learned is that while the effects didn’t last with the same intensity over the long term, inside of me there has been a fundamental shift in my relationship to…everything.
We need regular moments of retreat to cleanse, realign, and reset. Especially in these times of overconsumption and overstimulation with information, screen time, pollution and electromagnetic radiation.
It's part of taking care of ourselves in this intense world that we have created. Our systems need time of deep rest. Full Stop. Personally I'm committed to making this an annual ritual. It doesn't have to be 7 days straight away. One might just start with a wifi and phone free weekend and build up to what's more comfortable and doable.
3. I applied the minimal effort rule
My relationship to exercise has never been easy. I always wanted to get really fit but my particular body type throws a spanner in the works whenever I get started on some 'resolution' of going to the gym or committing to hour long classes of some sort. It's easy to get discouraged when that happens. It took me 20 years to figure out that maybe instead of doing one hour three times a week, (and putting myself down if I was not able to stay with it) so instead of setting myself up for failure, I could start with minimal effort, like five minutes a day!
I chose a part of my body that needed attention (which was my butt) and I committed to doing five minutes a day, no matter what!, for ninety days.
And guess what? Most of the time when I showed up for the five minutes I ended up doing 10 or 15 or 30! Just on those days that I was tired or not in the mood, I would do only the minimal effort. The benefits?
I minimised the risk of failure by giving myself the best chance to succeed. The reward centres of my brain got happily fired up and the perseverance and commitment build confidence and strength that is carrying me through all areas of my life.
No more self blame and shame! And on top of that, of course: I got some great results that I am very proud of and if it wasn't inappropriate on here I would be happily sharing before and after photos with you.
Do not underestimate what you can achieve with dedicated minimal effort over a prolonged period of time!
I also realised that my brain started to apply the minimal effort rule to other areas of my life: you don't feel like doing this? Just five minutes, c'mon. So that's how I am approaching my Arabic learning at the moment, too. And I'm loving it. Try, it's fun.
4. I dared to ask
This one was huge for me last year! When I look back I can't believe what I was able to manifest by simply daring to ask. The examples included asking to exchange my Kali painting for a Shadow Work Facilitator training which then went on to amazingly impacting the whole field of the experience. I was so in awe of what happened especially because I nearly hadn't dared to ask. I almost succumbed to the voice in my head that sounded a bit like this: who do you think you are? He is not even going to respond to you. You will just embarrass yourself.
Another thing I asked for is money for the charity in Rwanda that I've co-created. Because it wasn't directly for me but for a good cause, it felt slightly easier. Nevertheless it's about asking people for money…that's never easy. The result? Twenty children are able to go to school this year because I dared to ask!
When I take time to sit with this it really blows me away. How simple an action: just asking. And yet the ripple affects can be so profound, they can literally transform people's lives.
Why is that so hard for many of us?
I realised that asking without expectation and pressure is a muscle that we can train. Because after all what is the worst thing that can happen? They say no. That's it. We can learn how to not take rejection personally.
Rejection certainly also happened. However if I hadn't asked, I would have never known what is possible. And that was worth all the risk.
5. I discovered another no BS-practice: whirling
Whirling totally took me by surprise. First, I had a teaser experience in a two hour workshop in Thailand. I got incredibly nauseous and it wasn't fun at all really. Still, something about it intrigued me. Maybe it was the facilitator who said: I have tried a lot of different practices, trust me, this is next level.
Even though my first 'try' wasn't pleasant nor successful, I sensed there was more to this practice than just being able to not get sick and dizzy. So after some searching I came across an intro course of DIP, Dervish in Progress by Ziya Azazi in Amsterdam. Wow.
My first whirl ever, after Ziya gave his instructions, I had a full on emotional release while whirling. It was like the core of my resistance to life was touched. The part that like a little child screams NO, I don't like this! I want it to stop.
Except for this time I didn't collapse into this fear of letting go, I breathed and stayed with it instead. Ecstasy is what followed soon after. I had never felt such a profound sense of freedom ever. I felt my heart opening to life, to the divine …I felt a profound intimacy with my own self, my heart, my being. My tears became tears of joy and gratitude.
So what does whirling actually do and why do I call it a no BS practice?
It's a non-BS practice because you cannot fake it. It gives you instant feedback: you are either in your centre and the present moment or you are not. And if you are not, you will pay the price for it instantly.
Apart from that the mere physical and centrifugal force exerted, is akin to a wet cloth being spun out at high speed: it releases its water and impurities. You experience it through the sweat and emotions that come out, which makes you feel alive and liberated! So goood!
Of course, the philosophy behind it is more profound than that, but for that I encourage you to do your own research. Ideally through direct experience.
Personally, spinning left me dizzy in a completely new way. Dizzy with what’s possible, incredibly grateful knowing that this space is accessible without drugs and without sitting on my meditation cushion for hours. But I warn you: whirling is highly addictive. Once you have tasted its freedom, there is no going back!
lots of love to you my fellow explorers of life, love and our humanness!
Kasia
Nice read! Greetings from Rwanda Kasia ❤️
Love you... <3